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Top 10 Cockblockers

Love them or hate them....no wait...we ALWAYS hate them. Cockblockers are the worst of the worst. They are those people that destroy games, ruin nights, and prevent you from having unlawful carnal knowledge. What can you do? Learn to spot those bastards a mile away and then use proper strategy to outwit this foul opponent. Game on!

 

Top 10 Cockblockers:

1.     Your Friends - They sometimes joke too much, are too juvenile, or are just too damn drunk and mess up your game. So what do you do? Ensure you are completely out of eye-sight and not near the bathrooms for your approach. If they can't see you they can't mess it up.

2.     Other Guys on the Prowl - Competition can lead to natural blocking. In a sense it is a rule violation of the Man Code. But some guys just don't get it. One option is to send your wingman in for interference. The other is to politely ask him to step aside and point out another hottie for him to set his sights on.

3.     Her Straight Friend - He still wants to bang her and is playing the friend card hoping someday she will see 'just how awesome he is'. This guy is going to talk shit about you the first chance he has so the only option is to go uber polite. Be Brad Pitt. You have to be so cool that he looks like the jerk saying anything bad about you and would rather be your friend than say something mean.

4.     Her Gay Friend - He might want to bang you, but even if he doesn't there is no way he wants to be stuck without his BFF. Sure if he hooks up first it is cool but otherwise he will be on her hip like white on rice. Options include cozying up to him and then helping him find a date to dance with or sending your wingman in undercover.

5.     Man-Hater - She is fresh off a bad relationship or four. Maybe she has been divorced? Whatever the reason, she is in full on 'Man Hate Mode'. That means she is out with her girl and that is that. There are no really good options here other than getting separation. You can't charm her or use a wingman so you need to do a grab-n-dash to the dance floor and then keep moving to hide from her.

6.     Mood Killer - It's the down girl who turns any conversation back to her or something horribly negative. This buzz kill gets the party broken up faster than diarrhea. You need to get the Mood Killer drunk and fast. Either she will cut loose or pass out. Either option is an upgrade.

7.     Her Ugly Friend - Hello Wingman? Party of one! Sometimes a bro has to take one for the team. Just make sure you return the favor.

8.     Her Girlfriends - Girls Night Out! With a true pack mentality this is a tough situation. Girls will rate and bash guys in unison and then lock arms to prevent a predator taking one of the flock. First you need to be fun and hit on everyone using a lot of charm. Next you need to buy a few rounds and then get them all to the dance floor. When the pack is fully engaged sneak off with the chosen girl someplace quiet 'where you can talk'.

9.     Her Roommate - Be very polite and apologetic. Usually the roommate is sprung on you with no notice and you have no idea if she is a Mood Killer, Man-Hater, or what. You do not want to piss her off in any way and most charm will not appeal to her. You just invaded her space and are more than likely seeing her when she does not want to be seen - tread carefully.

10.  Your Roommate - Have a signal arranged for going out that means clear out or stay in your room. Bro rules in complete affect when you send him that text (unless he has a girl at home already and has Bro-trumped you).

11.  Your Own Dumb Ass - Yup this is how we at Manwall turn it up to 11. You need to learn when to keep your foot out of your mouth as well as when to stop drinking too much. There is nothing worse than having a girl lined up and then blowing it yourself because 'another few shots' followed by talking football with your bro's seemed like a good idea.

 

Gentlemen, you have the tools. When your adversary brings that wicked slice it is time to counterpunch. Game - set - match.