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The Top 10 Drinking Holidays

Don't think that you will be short on excuses to get hammered just because St. Patrick's Day has passed. There are plenty of drinking holidays year-round that don't get the credit they deserve. Sure you may have to borrow another country's holidays for some of these, but really, what is drinking about if not exploring other countries' cultures? Particularly how people in those countries like to get drunk. Let's get our drink on in this week's top 10:

 
February: Superbowl Sunday

As a holiday that is so widely observed, it's frankly a shame that it does not get federal holiday designation on the calendar. Regardless, no other holiday could possibly offer up more opportunity to watch TV and get hammered with friends. Especially if you're a fan of one of the 30 teams that are mysteriously absent from the big game. Besides, you need something with a kick to wash down those hot wings and the taste of your favorite team's mediocrity.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Budweiser, depending how swayed you are by the horse ads.

 
February: Mardi Gras

Just because you can't make it to New Orleans for the debauchery shouldn't stop you from enjoying a refreshing beverage and throwing beads at girls that pass by. Mardi Gras isn't just an excuse to film topless girls making out to stick it to daddy, it's also a great day to throw back a few cocktails and call in sick for work.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: The Hurricane - Rum, Syrup, Lime Juice, and 7UP.

 
March: St. Patrick's Day

The greatest Irish import since the potato and Liam Neeson, St. Patrick's Day gives every American an chance to be Irish for a day (and not just in that passive-aggressive racist sort of way). Blast some U2 and drink up to St. Patty, the guy most famous for driving the snakes out of Ireland and slightly less known for his short lives semi-pro basketball career.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Guinness or Baileys. Though a real Irishman would go full Irish Car Bomb and pound the two together.

 
May: Cinco De Mayo

Tip back your favorite cerveza and drink up to a Mexican holiday celebrating some defeat over the French or something. Most Americans incorrectly think it's the Mexican Independence Day when it's actually just the best gift Mexico has ever given us - an excuse to pound back a shot of Cuervo on a nice May day.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Tecate or Azteca for the beer lover, Jose Cuervo for the stumbling into things all night lover.

 
July: 4th of July

Speaking of Independence Days, what better way to celebrate a completely arbitrary date in American history than by raising a glass to your favorite Founding Father. It also gives you a perfectly reasonable excuse to drink outdoors and blow stuff up. You simply can't put a price on the look on a child's face as he drinks his first beer and blows up his first stray cat.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Support your local U.S. Micro-Brew!

 
August: International Beer Day

It's about damn time someone gave beer its own day! Whoever it was that did it sure made August 5th a considerably more important day that we can all look forward to. Buy your buddy a beer and start your journey of brew exploration by sampling the carbonated goodness of the seven continents.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: The Rarest Beer You Can Find.

 
October: Oktoberfest

You don't need to be German to enjoy the two-week long celebration of something we can all agree on - October needs a couple weeks of unadulterated drinking. Take a surprise vacation from work and enjoy your German favorites like Beck's, Radeberger, Bitburger, or Krombacher.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Anything with a funny name

 
October: Halloween

Nothing brings out a taste for alcohol like a bunch of kids ringing your bell all day. Skip the trick or treating and hit up a party with some cocktails with tacky names. The best part about Halloween drinking, if you're hung over the next day you can just blame it on too much candy.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Vampire Blood? Green Demon? Black Magic? I don't know, insert loose Halloween pun here.

 
November: Thanksgiving

Actually, nothing brings out a thirst for booze more than a weekend with relatives. Too many questions about your love life from your mom? Too many complaints from Grandma? Too many racist remarks from weird uncle Ted? The weekend goes a lot smoother with a little football and a heck of a lot of spiked punch.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: A hard cranberry cocktail - or anything that will drown out the sound of your dad's painful golf metaphors.

 
December: New Year's Eve

Hey, the year is over and another year filled with great excuses to drink is about to start - bottoms up! There is nothing quite like the freedom to drink heavily and knowing you don't have to wake up for work in the morning, so enjoy it before someone starts telling you about their New Year's Resolutions.

Traditional Beverage of Choice: Champagne and any and all booze you have left over from the past year.