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Relationship Advice: Why Are You Alone?

You know what? Dating can be really difficult sometimes. Meeting woman can be very hard. Then after you do find a girl and get her to agree to a date there is always a lot of pressure. First dates and second dates can be tricky and leave some guys with sweaty pits just thinking about everything that could go wrong, hoping things will go right, and then trying to remember not to screw it up.

Yes, some guys don't have these problems, but they aren't reading this article because they don't need the help; but you do. There is no shame in this. Dating is an acquired skill. It might seem strange having it talked about in the same light as abilities like being well-organized but truly dating is a skill. Once you understand how to do it properly the entire process is much easier and finding who and what you are looking for is less complicated.

Getting Better at Dating

- What do you want? - Are you looking to hook-up, date for one month, or trying to find a serious relationship. First things first, you need to know what the hell you want. If all you want to do is grab girls and bang them then your dating pool is going to be very specific. On the other hand girls looking for serious relationships are in another part of the pool.

- Make your list - Surprisingly a lot of people never take the time to figure out what they are looking for. This really isn't that hard if you take a little time and think about it. Consider everyone you have had a relationship with (dating/girlfriend/marriage). Then make a mental list of all the things you liked about those people as well as the things you disliked (or even hated). Next, rank those items on importance. Your list might be something like; athletic, funny, runner, romantic, non-smoker, religious, no drama, low maintenance. You need to understand the type of partner you are looking for before you just start going on dates with girls because they have a nice rack.

- Have fun - Don't think about it as going out on a date. You are looking to just have fun and hang out with someone. If there is a spark then the romance will happen. The best way to find out if you click is to relax, be yourself, and have a good time. If she is having a good time and relaxed then you get to see the true her.

- Work the list - You don't have to play 20 questions or grill her like a steak but take the time on the first date to figure out if she has any stuff from your 'dislike' or 'hate' list because those things are usually what we call "Deal Breakers". She can be nice but if she has things you can't get past then just move on. Next, look for positives about her from your list of 'likes'. This process can usually be done in a date or two.

- Communicate it - I don't know why people suck so badly at communication but they do. Be different, say how you feel. Be straightforward (not overly weird and crazy tho) and just say, "I am having a great time with you." At the end of the date tell her you had fun (if you did), ask her if she would like to out again, and get the goodnight kiss. If you didn't have a good time or don't really feel it then be polite but honest. Say something like, "Well it was nice meeting you and thank you for coming out."

- Work on yourself - It is great that you know what you want from a girl, but also keep in mind what a partner might want in you. Think about issues that might have come up in previous relationships and how you can be better. Nobody is perfect so always strive to improve yourself. There is nothing wrong with making yourself into a better, faster, stronger version. Heck, that usually make you more attractive to a bigger group of women and that is never a bad thing.

A lot of people are alone because they don't know what the hell they want. Then even if they have that figured out they are just too tense and worried to have fun when they meet someone that could be 'the one'. You have to understand that each time you meet someone and go out it is not like they have to be 'the one'. They either are or they aren't so relax, have fun, and then you can get to know them and see if they have what you are looking for. Also try and go on lots of dates to practice the skill of dating; which in reality is just getting to know people.