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Manwall Guide to the Best Valentine's Day Gifts

Groundhog Day not only lets us know if there will be 6 more weeks of winter; it is also a clarion call to action for all men reminding us that Valentine's Day is less than two weeks away. That means the time is now to figure out what the heck you are going to do that not only impresses the hell out of your lady, but also makes her want to get naked and give you your present!

For this article we went to our resident man whore to get his tips and ideas for the Best Valentine's Day Gifts to get you laid.

A Dozen Red Roses - Cliché and expensive as hell. This is something you should try to skip; unless of course you are saddled with one of those women who need flowers as a status symbol. You know the type who wants to make sure everyone else in the office knows how much you care and love her. If that is the case then you need to line up your florist and delivery time now and not at the last minute. Want to spice it up? Take some time to write a special poem for her on parchment paper. Roll it up, scent it (lightly) with your cologne, and make sure it goes with the flowers. If you suck at poetry our man whore is available for a small fee.

Romantic Dinner - This is another activity that needs an early reservation so you don't miss out. First pick her favorite kind of food such as Italian (hard to go wrong with Italian), French, or whatever. Then use a site like Yelp to find the best spot in town and book it like Danno on 5-0. If you have kids book the babysitter now as well so you can enjoy the evening. To kick it up a notch buy a single red rose (order ahead) and leave it on the front seat of the car so she sees it when you open the door for her. For an added bonus, plan ahead with a small box of chocolates and a few warm blankets in the trunk. After dinner drive to a romantic spot to watch the stars, eat some chocolate, and make out.

Chocolate Dipped Strawberries - The perfect plan for guys with kids and no babysitter option. This takes some free time and planning. Buy strawberries and get a recipe for making chocolate dipped delights. You will also need a nice bottle of champagne and scented tea light candles (cinnamon type of scent - very inexpensive). Don't forget a nice card. During the day (hopefully she is out of the house) make the strawberries and hide them in the fridge or a cold spot in the garage (ice chests are perfect). That night, ask her to wait upstairs while you prepare the setting. Light a fire (pre-stacked) if you have one as well as candles all over the living room. Place the strawberries on a plate, the champagne on ice with two glasses, turn out the lights, and turn on some soft romantic music. Bring her downstairs and start with a slow dance. You don't have to brag about anything - just let her take it all in as you dance. Then let the romance start.

Dinner at Home - Figure out a nice meal you can make at home complete with wine and appetizers. A man who cooks for a woman is a man who gets laid. Plan ahead with a candle-lit dining area (cinnamon tea lights) and some sort of easy chocolate dessert. Add some romantic music to the mix and she should be in heaven. Make sure the house is cleaned up and you have prepped beforehand so she only has to help a little with what you want her too.

Lingerie - This one is rather easy if you know your lady. First, raid her closet to get the right size for her bra and panties as well as an idea of the preferred style/cut. If you are not 100% sure then go with the sexy nighty and robe combination. They are almost foolproof because of the flexible sizing and how easy they are to get into. Spice it up by hanging them in her closet with a sexy note that says, "I can't wait to see you in this later." Let her find it and go from there. This is a great combo gift with any of the above items.

Other Gifts - Spa Treatments and other pampering type activities are always good gifts. Anything that makes her feel special and loved. Hell you can write a small book of love poems and she will love it if it is from the heart. Jewelry is an okay gift but should be given along with doing something. You can also find a nice spot to go dancing or see a romantic comedy like Spy-vs-Spy that comes out on Valentine's Day. Ideally no matter what, you will need to spend quality time together even if you buy her roses and diamonds.

Things NOT to DO - Do not buy her something that is just for you or is a household convenience. Buying a new coffeemaker (no matter how cool) and passing it off as a romantic gift will not get you laid! By the same token buying just lingerie without something like flowers or a night out looks like it is just for you to get sex (which of course, it is).

Remember guys, the happier she is equals the higher chance of you getting sex. If she is pissed off then you might get pity sex at best. But the best sex is never pity sex. But if you follow some of our man whores ideas for the Best Valentine's Day Gifts that should not be a problem.