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Rules of Madden 13

Rules? We don't need no stinking rules! Well...we think you do. In fact we think everyone does. Why? Because sometimes, when dudes start playing video games, things can get a bit out of hand without some guidelines.

That doesn't mean we aren't looking to have fun; because we sure as hell are. But sometimes ground rules help prevent anyone from getting all 'butthurt' about some Madden-style beat-downs. So the crack staff at Manwall got together over some Chinese food and beer (which always spawns great ideas) to help generate the Rules of Madden 13.

The Madden Code

1. Games shall not be paused unless one of the following occurs; the police arrive, an irate wife threatens divorce, the kid needs a diaper change, you run out of beer. Bathroom breaks, getting hungry, or needing to text your girlfriend can be done later.

2. Instant rematches are always honored unless you said prior to the previous game, "This is my last game and then I gotta go," or you had previously mentioned a time you had to leave by for work etc.

3. Thou shall not try and peek at thy opponents selection screen. That would be a douche move. You don't want to be a douche do you?

4. Each player is allotted the following per half; one TD celebration, one defensive celebration for a sack or interception, and one slow-mo replay.

5. You will adhere to the purity rule at all times and not match-up weird teams like the Hall of Fame versus the Dolphin Cheerleaders. Save that stuff for solo play.

6. There are no complaints about running the same play every time. Techmo Bowl taught us that sometimes play selection is king. It is up to the defense to stop it.

7. Call it a game when you are up by 28 points. They have a mercy rule in Little League too so don't feel bad about throwing in the towel.

8. Thou shall always talk smack, however all smack shall remain game related. The fact that your opponent wet the bed until he was 13 has nothing to do with his ability to rush the passer (at least so we think).

9. Don't try to distract the other player from seeing the screen during plays. You can talk smack, belch, or even fart in his direction but other stuff is unsportsman-like conduct and could cost you respect from your bros.

10. Fake field goals are the tits and should be encouraged, especially if Tebow is playing special teams for the Jets.

Do you have any rules we should add to list? By all means share them with us in the comments. As great as we think our brains work while drinking Sapporo we probably missed a few great ideas. Happy Madden 12 everyone!