BROGUIDE
Get the Man-Info you need Every Week in the Bro Guide!

Can Texting Get You Laid?

Well yeah just text a hooker. Boom! But seriously, we get a lot of questions here at Manwall and we try our best to answer the ones that are reasonable and relatively coherent. This week we pulled this little gem from the mail bag. Our bro Jim wants to know, "Can texting get you laid? Seriously I hear about sexting and am I doing it wrong?"

Okay Jim, have no fear because ManWall is here (and sounding like a superhero ta boot)!

Texting and Sex

Yes, technically texting can get you laid. Why technically? Because if you have a girl who wants to get down with you then texting her to, 'Come on over' will probably result in you making the beast with two backs. But I will guess that Jim wants to know if there is a way to send such powerful and panty-moistening messages to a lady that she will literally throw herself on you and hump until dawn.

That answer is a bit more complex.

Words Have Power

Good looking dudes are always going to get a certain amount of tail. That is just a fact because women are more than willing to overlook a lot of factors, such as a guy being dumb as a post, if he is really good looking. But by the same token, a man who can truly speak to a woman in the right way will always get laid because he can get to that other side of her that hits on an emotional level.

Guys who write poetry, sing songs to a woman, and learn how to woo with words are going to be wading through the strange; that goes for texting too. You have a lot of power with a text but it all depends on the words you use and the proper delivery. This is a huge tool for some guys for getting dates or just getting laid as well as keeping a girlfriend happy and romanced.

Obviously if you bore a girl to tears then you have utterly failed. But, when you can send those texts that make her face light up with a smile while she stares down at that little two inch screen then it is mission accomplished my friend.

What to Say

Trying to be all cute and cuddly might be nice for your girlfriend sometimes but what really gets things going is sexy and thought provoking texts. You want to say the kind of stuff that gets her thinking about you but still maintains some level of mystery and intrigue. It is impossible to tell you exactly what to say (if it were only that f*&king easy) because all women are different. You have to gauge their maturity level, how playful they are, and what the current mood is. Sometimes you can't say the right thing because she is in a pissy mood.

1. Don't use shorthand or text-speak. You do not want any miscommunication here.

2. Always spell-check and re-read before sending so you don't end up sounding like a freak because of you texted, "Just shitting in my room," when you meant 'sitting'.

3. If she isn't responding in a playful or fun way then try and pique her interest with a compliment or lead her with a story, "I was having the weirdest dream last night...." Maybe the dream was about 5 circus midgets in a car...whatever as long as she is going back n forth with you.

4. Try and bring the sexy back when she isn't overly busy or preoccupied.

5. Use vivid details and say things people usually don't in a text but would say in a soap opera. "I can't wait to feel your lips pressed against mine..."

6. Try to be detailed and romantic without being stupid. If you want to bone her never say you want to bone her. In fact, never mention your penis first; it's like the elephant in the room. Talk about how you want to touch her and feel her. Basically just think about stuff you should do for foreplay if you weren't such a lazy bastard.

7. Always leave her wanting more. You send that perfect text and then she sends you another one back...you let her wait. Never be that desperate dude who is bombing her phone with lines. Let each one sit in her mind and stew around a bit.

8. If the conversation is going too long make sure you cut it off first; again to leave her wanting more.

9. When your texting is really getting to her let her decide when you are going to meet. Don't try and pressure things because if you are doing it right she will let you know. If you have to at least say something like, "Thinking we need to get together soon," or similar.

10. Song lyrics can always be used but never claim they are your own words and only go a few lines before it becomes lame.