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Guide to the One-Night Stand

We shall also call this the 'Stinson Method'.

A one-night stand is a special occasion. It should be celebrated and enjoyed by everyone. Why? Because for one perfect night, two complete strangers meet and come to an understanding that they will meet each others' physical needs of primal lust and have crazy animal sex before dawn. Then, as the fresh rays of sunlight wash clean the echoes of the previous night's passion, they shall part ways left only with lasting memories.

Or at least, that is how I look at it.....

Actually there is a lot of negativity associated with the one night stand. Often that stems from people not either being upfront and honest about what is happening, or fooling themselves instead of admitting exactly what is happening. But enough of the chit-chat, on to the rules of engagement!

The Rules!

Step #1 - Find your target for the evening - Most guys get hung up here with an initial thought of scoring a '10' but as the night wanes they are willing to get dirty with a '5'. Instead of aiming for the hottest girl at the bar/club/wherever the hell you are, go for the slightly less attractive friends. Those girls are still plenty hot in their own right (although diminished in the presence of the queen bee) and it creates an interesting dynamic where the alpha females are curious why you don't want them instead.

Step #2 - Make contact - Cheesy lines, buying drinks, intent stares from across the room; the Jedi want not for these things. Instead just go in casual and confident and start chatting her up. Engage her and her friends in games like pool or darts. If you just are going to talk ask her questions that she can answer in-depth. Be a little silly and fun with things like, "Best drink I ever had here was an appletini...you know that green fufu drink. Everyone made fun but it was so good. What kinds of crazy drinks have you tried?" Avoid questions she can answer in a single word and shut you down with.

Step #3 - Watch the body language - It is usually pretty obvious if a girl digs you by how she physically is towards you. Close and open is good, leaning away and closed is bad. If signs get ugly, keep that cool and confident vibe going and casually bail. Then start over again on Step #1. Success and failure are not determined until the night is over my friend.

Step #4 - Crank it up - Turn the party up and go for some fun. Drinking games, joking, laughing, and generally having a great time are encouraged. Drink for the buzz but not for the kill. Flirt and get some body contact in. Dance if the opportunity presents itself. But, and remember this, never ever push things harder than she is pushing them or risk driving her off. Ideally you are trying to get in close enough for the make out session.

Step #5 - Closing time - Once you have gotten the green light for lip locks then you can close the deal whenever you want. Some people stay and party too late and miss the opportunity - don't be that guy! That leaves you open for 'having to get up early' excuses. If you are both buzzing and having a good time then suggest you take the party somewhere quieter. Be subtle and smooth but not an overly persistent douche. But if at all possible DO NOT go back to your house. If you are going for a one-hit wonder you do not want her to know where you live. Also make sure if you aren't packing some protection or that you borrow or buy something on the way out.

Step #6 - Nekkid Time - Have sex baby! But, I cannot stress this enough, do not be a selfish dick. Good sex with a one-night stand can easily turn into a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Heck she could end up being the one for you as well. But if you just bust your nut and bail she will not be looking to see you again. So take your time, blow her mind with your foreplay and moves, and really make a memory over it.

Step #7 - Bailing - There are all sorts of ways to do it. You can always have an early morning meeting or family event (like breakfast with your mom) that you have to get to which makes it okay to not stay the night. By the same token in the morning those excuses are cool too. Going for breakfast is okay but can be weird. It is easier just to tell her you had a great time, give her a nice kiss, and roll out. If you aren't going to call her then don't offer. If she gives you her number and asks you to call don't say yes if you won't. Instead give an answer like, "That could be fun." But don't be a dick and try and sneak out...that is a college move and we are men.