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Bro Guide to Facebook Profile Pictures

You would think we wouldn't have to write this...and yet we do. Time and time again we come across Facebook profiles with the worst possible choice for a profile picture. Seriously...is that you fisting a turtle? I don't care how awesome you thought that idea was going to be, but it really wasn't. So that is why we had to create the Bro Guide to Facebook Profile Pictures to save some bro's from themselves and their deranged urges.

A quick reminder, Facebook has opened up a bit so it is easier to search for and find people, even if you only get a limited peek at their profile. That means girls or employers who are interested in you can take a quick preview and see what you look like.

What NOT to do

One of the best ways to figure out what to do involves first looking at what not to do. That way there are less stupid questions we have to answer in follow-up emails. In case you didn't figure it out from our sarcastic tone above, fisting a turtle is out. Heck fisting anything is out. Save that for your PornHub account.

·       Flexing - This covers shirt off, working out and all similar styled pictures. Nobody cares, at least not in the way you are hoping for. The very few exceptions are when you are crossing a finishing line or some other accomplishment photo but otherwise you are just screaming to everyone, "I'm vain and a douche!"

·       Drinking - Is that a 1932 Chateau Blueaaahh? Who cares! Are you a paid endorsement? A drink just sits there like an extra arm and takes away from what the focus of the photo should be; you.

·       Toking - This pretty much goes along with drinking photos. Unless you do plan on working at a gas station for the rest of your life you might want to re-think that, "I'm cool because I do drugs," photo since employers Facebook stalk people these days.

·       The Duckface - Seriously? Oh, I get it...you are a teenage girl.

·       "Go to" look - A lot of people develop a "go to" look for photos. Unless you have mastered something as special as Blue Steel like Zoolander you should try and just do something more natural.

·       Gang signs - Again...seriously? What real gangsta uses Facebook anyway?

·       Too many girls - Hey look how popular you are with the ladies? I am sure any girl you are really interested in will find that just as awesome because who doesn't want to date a man-whore!

·       Ugly girls - I am not even sure why this should come up, but no ugly girls in your photo.

·       Family members - Yeah that photo with mom does look great! Now if you are done sucking your thumb let's move on.

What you should do

Your photo should be well considered. This is after all a representation of you that all sorts of people will see from friends and family to potential dates and employers. So for God's sake, take a little time to consider what you are going to use. Ideally you want that picture that makes you look five times better than your normal, slovenly self....you know that one that will make a girl stop and think, "I have GOT to contact this guy!"

·       Solo Picture - Unless you are in a relationship or have kids this should be a solo shot. Girls can get away with a "bestie" photo but dudes shouldn't try. The only exception here is if you have a dog with you. A cute puppy is preferred for maximum "awwwwww" factor.

·       Angle yourself - Use a good angle on any pictures you take. Shoulders should be slightly angled, chin should be up and no slouching. Imagine you are one of those models for Abercrombie.

·       Clothing choice - Pretty basic; pick something you look good in. Avoid cheap slogan t-shirts, tank tops. Ideally use solid colors that show off your skin tone with something that shows off your body and style.

·       Expression - This is a no brainer...smile. By that I don't mean that type of Kristen Stewart smile where it is more like a smirk. People look friendlier and more attractive when they smile, unless you have awful teeth.

·       Candid option - A candid photo means you aren't looking directly at the camera. It can be a nice change of pace to use this style, but not a must.

·       Photoshop it - The perfect tool to help make yourself look better! Why not adjust your photo a little? Models do it all the time. The only big thing here is to only make small adjustment and not go too crazy. Maybe whiten the teeth, add a layer of light tanning.

 Really taking a photo or picking a photo to use is not rocket science. Try and get past those urges to use something you think is "epic" because there is a good chance that it isn't. Trust us and follow our guide to Facebook profile pictures if you want to impress rather than depress women or anyone else when they check out your profile.