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12 Manliest Moments of 2011

While 2011 may not have been the "manliest year" (that was obviously 490 BC), there were many a man-moment throughout the year. From overthrowing governments to getting fired like a boss - with the year almost up, Manwall looks backs on the 12 manliest moments of the year.



January: Revolt!
Ever since the year began, countless countries around the world have witnessed massive revolts unseen since they tried to remake Indiana Jones. While it was impressive to watch regular people force dictators out of office, most of the revolts simply led to militaries taking over. Kind of like getting rid of your old black-and-white TV and getting a radio.


February: Packers
Remember Brett Favre? Neither does Green Bay. The Rodgers era officially began with the Pack taking down the seemingly unstoppable Steelers in Superbowl XLV. Rodgers is already following up with an MVP-caliber season and a Superbowl run unseen since I bought Madden 12 and played it on rookie mode.


March: Charlie Sheen Ruins Career Like a Boss
What do you do if you are coming off of three failed drug and alcohol rehab attempts? If you answered anything like "Call your boss a bunch of epithets and demand a massive raise," there's a good chance your job now belongs to Ashton Kutcher.


April: Glenn Beck Kicked Off Fox
Rupert Murdoch is not someone who deserves much praise but Fox News' decision to can the Glenn Beck show is one we can all get behind. During this holiday season, let us give thanks to Mr. Murdoch for when his heart swelled three times too big he saved Christmas santiy. And had to see a cardiologist immediately.


May: Obama Kills Osama With Bare Hands
Osama bin Laden was undoubtedly watching re-runs of Frasier when Navy Seal Team 6 burst into his compound (better known as DisneyStan) and took him out Moe Green style. It was truly a great day for America, made even better when we discovered Osama's massive porn stash.


June: Dirk Takes Down King James
After all the hype of the James-Wade-Bosh dream team, the Miami Heat blew their championship run to the unlikeliest of opponents - a white basketball player.


July: Hangover 2 Dominates The Summer
Think people would rather see Harry Potter than Zach Galifianakis' penis? Well that happens to be exactly what Zach calls his penis and it made nearly $600 million at the box office this year, the most ever by an R-rated movie.


August: Football in America!
After everyone finally figured out how many billions of dollars they needed to live modestly, the NFL was finally back on! Seeing this, David Stern intentionally started NBA negotiations as early as possible to prevent a long lockout. Let's assume that turned out well.


September: Scarlett Johansson Nudie Pics
American penises rejoiced as a hacker released two naked cell phone photos that Scarlett Johansson had sent to Ryan Reynolds. This proved once and for all, no matter how many confidential government memos WikiLeaks can get, they can't hold a candle to famous boobs.


October: Cardinals
After it seemed like they were out of the playoffs, the Cardinals did not simply stage a huge comeback to beat out the Braves for the Wild Card slot but beat the best team in the American League. Good thing too because it may be the last ring St. Louis sees in a while with the best player and manager in the league headed elsewehere.


November: Dos Santos
No one wanted to be in the same octagon with Cain Velasquez after seeing what he had done to Brock Lesnar in his championship fight. Except Junior Dos Santos. Despite the odds, JDS took down the baddest man on the planet in under a minute - in the most watched fight in MMA history.

December: (Still To Come)
Beyonce's baby breaks free of the womb to fulfil its destiny and save the world from inevitable apocalypse - by beheading Justin Bieber.