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Should You Call or Text Her?

Ah the age old question pops up once again! Yes, I do realize that since we included 'texting' in this question that it really isn't that old. Actually it is the rise in the use of texting that completely screwed up the solid system we men had in place for years. Damn texting!

For those who don't remember we used to have a very solid '3-Day-Rule' about contact after you get the number. It was simple to remember. The "logic" behind it was that you wouldn't seem that desperate, she would agonize over you calling and then by so happy when you did that you could usually get the date, and if we decided not to call after three days we had countless excuses ready (Thank you guys who wrote the movie 'Swingers').

Seriously, how perfect was that?

But then f*&king texting came along as well as IM and social media outlets all over the place. Suddenly with communication being completely instantaneous all the old rules (along with that perfect 3-Day-Rule) were tossed out the window. F*&k me.  So, now how long after you meet a girl should you call or text them?

The New Rules

What is the big replacement rule we men have created? It too is very simple, it's called 'Don't be a stalker'. Nice right?

The danger with all this technology is that you overuse it and suddenly look like either A) a crazy stalker B) a whiny bitch or C) a desperate idiot. Some guys get a little anxious and paranoid about a girl and don't know what to do. They like her and want to make sure she knows they like her so they might get overly "cutsie" by sending a bunch of what they think are funny messages.

DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!

The first thing you have to remember is that you just met this girl and got her number. Basically neither one knows that much about the other one. There are no strings attached, no expectations, and no pressure. Next, you figure if she gave you the number then you sparked her interest. So, now you need to act on that interest and set-up the date. Be 'as cool as the other side of the pillow'.

Here is where the real rule is: Call or text her one to two days before you actually want to go out but not any later than four days after you met. If you get her number on Thursday and want to go out Saturday then call her Friday. If you want to go out a few days later then wait. The reason gets down to awkwardness. If you call her too soon then you end up with a big number of days before you see her. The idea is for her to be excited to see you, not be stuck waiting a long time (during which another dude can swoop in).

Why four days? Because by now most women have heard of the 3-Day-Rule so you are a bit of a rebel and maybe even more of a gentlemen by going for 3 or 4. However I would only wait 3 or 4 days if actually calling. Sure, she might not be annoyed if you wait longer, but since it is women we are talking about there is a good chance she will be.

Call or Text?

Personally I am big about texting compared to calling. It allows you to be more careful with your message, is more casual (less pressure) and less awkward if she ends up blowing you off. Some 'dating experts' say calling is more respectful but it can be difficult and nerve-racking for some people. But, here is the important stalker rule, you only send one text. If she doesn't respond, oh well. Life moves on and there are more fish in the sea.

I like to keep it simple and polite with something like, "Hi this is David, we met at Tony's Bar yesterday. I really enjoyed talking with you and was hoping you might like to go out to coffee or dinner with me sometime soon?"

It is straightforward, reminds her of your name, where you met, and establishes possible plans within a timeframe. Now it is up to her for a response and you can go from there. The key is patience as you have no idea if she is a super-texter and will be all over sending you messages or if she is more low-key. Usually I like to text her the next day or on day two at the latest. To me that shows that you are confident and you are interested enough in her that you didn't want to wait around.

Now you can even text her sooner than that depending on how you met and what is going on. Maybe you pulled her number with some friends and want to invite her (and friends) to meet you and your boys at a club or bar. Then it is more social and perfectly acceptable because you aren't asking her for a one-on-one date.

Hopefully that gives you the answer you needed to the question of, ' how long after you meet a girl should you call or text them?' As always, if you have more questions feel free to let us know and we will be more than happy to share our expert advice learned from our own grueling hours spent in the trenches.