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Keeping Your House Clean

A man's home is his castle; sadly though most single guys or dudes who have roommates have a castle that looks like it was recently ransacked by a bunch of drunken Vikings. While that might be cool during the week, when the weekend rolls around and you have a half decent chance of bringing some pretty lil' thing home you might want to make sure that she isn't scared off by any moving piles of garbage or strange smells.

Having a pigsty for a pad is typically the number two reason girls bail on you after you invite them back to your place. Number one still goes to walking in on your roommate jerking it to porn in the living room (thanks Jon). But cleaning up the house sucks. No worries, we have a quick guide of what you need to focus on. Let's call this the 'superficial cleaning guide'. It's not quite half-ass but we aren't going all out for a visit from out mom. I highly recommend cleaning the pad on Thursday nights so no matter what Friday brings you will be ready.

ManWall Guide to the Quick Clean

Step #1 - Turn on some kick ass music and open the windows. Get some fresh air in the house to air out that man-stench.

Step #2 - Empty all the garbage's in the house. Make sure you open the fridge and toss out anything that is rank. Use Febreze (buy some if you don't have it) and give each room about 3 squirts spread out evenly (including furniture).

Step #3 - Change all the towels in the bathroom and your sheets. You get bonus points if you actually wash them right now as well.

Step #4 - Move that giant stack of unwashed dishes into the dishwasher. Hell, go for the gold and turn the damn thing on. Having a clean plate and glass is always cool if she stays for breakfast. Use some 409 and paper towels to wipe down the counters, stove, and sink real quick.

Step #5 - Take that 409 and wipe down the bathroom as well. It takes a few minutes and ensures that she won't be too afraid to ever use your bathroom again.

Step #6 - Pick up the porn and any other stuff girls find "gross". Closets are a wonderful thing for a reason. After that, pick up your own room. You want a clear path from the door to your bed as well as an easy time finding the clothes you hopefully will be discarding.

Step #7 - Vacuum the entire pad.

Step #8 - Open a beer and congratulate yourself on cleaning the entire house in under an hour. If you really want to take it up a notch go hit the grocery store and stock up the fridge for the weekend with beer and other stuff.

See, that wasn't so bad. Having your place look somewhat neat and not smelling like a man cave is always a good thing as far as the females are concerned. Now if your plan is to hit it and quit it then you might not want such an appealing pad, but for those dudes who are hoping to keep girls around you want her to think you aren't some lazy slob as well as making sure she is as relaxed and comfortable as possible. For some girls, fresh smelling sheets are an invitation to take off clothes and jump into bed. Hell, for some women, having a guy who cleans is like their version of porn!