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How to Throw a Bachelor Party

It is his last night as a free man on this planet...you are the Best Man...your mission...if you choose to accept it...is to throw him the best damn bachelor party possible (queue Mission Impossible theme).

Typically an epic bachelor party involves the Three B's (booze, broads, and bro's) mixed with a bit of debauchery; shaken not stirred. But that recipe isn't always approved by the bride (or her parents as poor Joe found out last month). So in case you need more options we decided to provide some information on how to throw a great bachelor party. Not just a one trick pony, we actually got past just going to the strip club and came up with some good ideas on other ways to have fun.

After all, this is a party for your best Bro and it should be something to make him happy. It shouldn't just be an excuse to go bang some slutty strippers; you can do that in your own free time.

How to Throw a Great Bachelor Party

The key ingredient to any party is getting the right people there so first and foremost make sure you have all the bro's he wants at the party and none of the douches he hates. From there it is a matter of making sure he (and the bro's) has a good time. Now since some guys are pussy whipped already we will cover ideas from the mundane to "You guys did what??!!" Hopefully you have a good idea of what the bride will be able to handle and then of course in typical Bro fashion you will shove right past that line and make the night memorable (or sworn to secrecy).

The Classy Party

Good for those guys who need to ask permission for their testicles to come out and play for a night....

Start by picking an event to center the weekend around. Now some of this will depend on the time of year but we have a bunch of general ideas including: snowboarding, golf, pro or college sporting event (March Madness!), MMA Fight (because boxing sucks), fishing trip, hunting, paintball, outdoor trip (rafting, camping, backpacking), and gambling (casino or poker night).

Ideally you want to pick something your Bro would love to do with his boys. You are the best man so don't screw this up. Then consider who is on the invite list and if they can afford it. If they can't then tone it down because any party is more awesome with all of his friends there. Or if you are a big baller then pay for a portion.

Next is the big dinner. Obviously plan a cool spot near the event. You can even host a beastie BBQ. Just make sure to have cocktails and cigars so guys can relax, share war stories, and offer advice to the poor bastard. Steakhouses and whiskey bars are high on the guy list.

Last but not least, pick the date. Go for a two or three weeks before the big event. Last minute sucks because the bride is all stressed out and things are tight. Instead make sure it is a relaxed time that everyone can get to easily. Then you won't have to explain to the bride why the groom is hung-over. Oh, don't forget to send out invitations and book the event (duh - planning is good, execution is great!).

The Raunchy Party

Are we going to have a stripper? Stripper? I think you meant to say strippers!

Pretty much you can follow most of the rules for the classy party with a few major exceptions. First - the major destination is Las Vegas baby! Of course you want to hit Sin City because it is the ultimate weekend spot. You have clubs, poolside bars, strip joints, legal prostitution, and even some damn fine golf courses (if you aren't too hung over). Oh, and you can watch a good show or gamble as well. Now if you are on the East Coast then of course Vegas is a trek, so you have to hit Atlantic City!

The bride will probably throw a fat fit over this one so make sure to tell her about your early tee times and that you might go watch the Blue Man group before you rent a limo and take charge of the strip. Again the same ideas from above are important regarding budget, inviting people, and when to go. The only main difference is ensuring that there is no photographic evidence because what happens in Vegas sure better stay there.

You can also stay local if needed. Start with a suite at a nice hotel with a late checkout (bonus on a golf course for the next day). Start the night off with an in-room toast or a few shots, then after the stragglers have rolled in you can all roll out in the limo you rented (because it's not a party without a limo).A limo means everyone can get plowed safely because a DUI is not a cool wedding present. From there cruise to that sweet steak house or other similarly righteous place for dinner followed by the whiskey and cigar bar before ending up at the strip club. You should be well fed, drunk, and ready to get those private lap dances until closing. Then the limo takes you back to the hotel room where you can puke and sleep it off.

Final Tips

  • Always take charge. It's your job to make sure the groom is having fun and everyone else stays in line.
  • Bring cameras and record that stuff. But destroy the evidence the next day if it is damning!
  • Go for fun, crazy, bizarre, and memorable. Sake Bombs while singing karaoke in Chinatown? Let's do it!
  • Always have a place for everyone to crash and handle group transportation so everyone can drink.
  • You can almost always find a stripper that makes house or hotel calls if you don't have a club in town. I recommend ordering two or more.
  • Use any and all of the advice we have given to create a bachelor party for your Bro. Hopefully he only gets one in his life so do your job and make it awesome. This concludes our advice on how to throw a great bachelor party...use the knowledge wisely.