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Bro Guide to the One-Night Stand

Some people say that the possibility of having a one night stand of sex on any night ultimately depends on the woman. While this may be somewhat true, when comes to casual sex every guy should have a plan if wants a higher rate of success.

A smooth one-night stand is next to impossible; let's consider it like pitching a no-hitter. There is almost always something that goes wrong or is awkward. But, with our handy guide you will have some very useful information that can help get you closer to a perfect game rather than getting pulled in the 5th.

The One-Night Stand Guide

·       Clean Your Goddamn Pad - Nothing kills the mood faster than an apartment that smells like a locker room or has bio-hazard tape in the kitchen. Seriously it takes like 30 minutes.  Do some laundry, have clean sheets and towels, take out the trash, empty the sink, and screw it...burn a few candles for a bit. She will judge you based on your place and if she judges it badly then don't expect her to stay.

·       The "Player" Mentality - When you are looking for a one-night stand you really need to be in the right frame of mind. Think about the player mentality which is one of confidence with just a little swagger. Keep in mind there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness along with swagger and jerk. Think of how James Bond acts around both men and women or Chaz from Wedding Crashers and emulate them.

·       Grooming - Being well groomed goes a long way because looking good is feeling good and feeling good is exuding confidence.

·       Protection - Don't forget your condoms! Bring at least three in your pocket and have some in the night stand. There is absolutely no reason to cast yourself in the starring role of Knocked Up II.

·       Finding a Girl - Look for women who are dressing more provocatively because subconsciously they are looking for attention. When approaching a group always go after the 2nd or 3rd choice and not the hottest girl; it throws off the social circle. Look for women who are out to have fun and in a good mood. It takes practice to read mood and body language as you chat up women because not everyone is down for casual sex so you don't want to throw your line into the lake if you know the fish aren't going to bite. Instead you just move to a different fishing spot.

·       Picking up the Girl - One of the most important rules is not acting overly interested. Let's say you join into a conversation with a group. You might take the opposite side of an argument as your target. Then after you feel she has noticed you, it is time to grab another drink or migrate somewhere else. The key is to acknowledge but not appear into them. You want your girl to feel comfortable and see that you are confident because you don't care if she talks to you or not. If you do compliment her, never compliment her looks. During a conversation say as little as possible and keep her talking to learn important things like if she has to work early, has a boyfriend, etc. to make a better decision about going to the next step.

·       Have Fun - Put in some time and have a good time, that's why you go out in the first place. Dudes who just approach a girl and try and get down to business too fast are just creepy and girls can sense it.

·       Setting the Line - If you get to the point where you feel she is digging you (while you are still lukewarm to her) then it is time to make things more intimate. You want to get to a place where you can make casual contact, touching an arm while you whisper a joke for example or dancing. Then you want to start flirting and use tasteful sexual innuendoes. But...this is a big one...be subtle and a bit aloof about it. You want to put hints out there but at the same time make it seem like she is pursuing you.

·       Don't get Hammered - A good buzz is your friend because then you and the girl are relaxed and ready to get freaky. Too much booze however pushes things into the unknown. Whiskey dick, dry mouth, inability to drive, she falls into a fragile emotional state and wants to cuddle and cry and a whole list of crap can go wrong when you take one drink too many. If the line is set and you are both buzzing then it is time to head to the door.

·       Your Place or Mine - Does it really flipping matter? "Let's get out of here," or "Let's go to your place," are good lines...never ask her because then it is easier for her to say no.

·       Never Over Promise - If she thinks this is anything more than a one-night stand DO NOT DO IT. Say something straightforward like, "I'm not sure if I'm ready for anything serious, but tonight is tonight and tomorrow is tomorrow." Total bull crap but it works. If she expects more after hooking up and you aren't going to give it you are asking for trouble.

·       Give It Your All - Don't let the freak flag fly but make sure you put in some solid effort. Spend time with foreplay, do your best to give her what she wants and then finish like a champ. You never know when a one-night stand can turn into a booty call.

·       Don't Hit n Run - It doesn't matter where it is but don't zip up and walk out. Have some water, clean up, hell pass out for a bit. Then when it is time politely leave or subtly ask her to go. Don't make it weird or uncomfortable (at least any more than it already is).

Why So Many Rules?

Karma is a bitch. It is perfectly acceptable in our society to sleep around, have multiple one-night stands, and basically enjoy oneself. But, if you leave a woman scorned then you have suddenly turned into a dick. With that being said, women talk. You never know who is a friend with whom and with social media ablaze it is far too easy for a dick reputation to follow you around and screw up your life in some way or another.

So instead, take the more polite high road. Yes, go out and bang chicks left and right, but do it with a level of class and decorum (which means no cell pics of her buck ass naked) which leaves no hard feelings or uncomfortable run-ins down the road.