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Bro Guide to Tailgating 2013 Football Games

Why do we go to football games these days? Is it because we love the sound of the crowd and cheering on our home town team? Heck no...it's because we love to tailgate!

Let's be brutally honest; with the quality of televisions these days combined with the excellent camera work you get from a network game, actually watching the game is pretty damn enjoyable from the comfort of my warm, cushy couch. But tailgating...now that is something unto itself. It can literally make or break your entire game experience.

As men, we have moved past the glory days of college where all you needed was a case on Natty Ice, a bag of chips and a nametag for when you blacked out. The game on the field or the race at the track will only be as epic as the party that precedes it, so let's dive into this handy guide to making sure your next tailgate is legendary.

Guide to Tailgating

·       Find a Truck - Hey your SUV or sedan is cool, but real men tailgate with an actual tailgate. An RV is an great alternative but otherwise something like an F-150 is perfect because you have room for coolers along with the proper equipment and it gives people a place to sit.

·       Grill Time - What is a tailgate party without a grill? But make sure you have the right grill. Those little hibachi junkers can cook like 2 burgers at a time? Weak! Bring something that can get the job done and then folds up or packs away easily. There are some sick grills that actually attach to your tow hitch.

·       Bring Extras - Extra what you ask? Extra everything! Bring lots of ice, extra plastic cups, extra buns, ice, rolls of paper towels, chairs for all the hot girls who will want to join your sweet ass party, did I mention ice yet, sun screen, towels, speakers and most importantly...extra toilet paper (I hate port-o-potties).

·       Drinks - Beer is a must. For hard alcohol go with something blended because the ice is great on a hot day (or hot toddy's if you are braving a cold trip), but don't forget the water and juice. People need to be hydrated as well which makes drinking more without blacking out possible and prevents heat exhaustion.

·       Food - Bring lots of options and do most of the work at home. Any meat should be seasoned and marinated already. Don't forget the condiments! Make sure other people bring sides, chips, fruit and the rest but man up and bring plenty of plates and cooking gear.

·       Dress - Obviously team colors are a necessity. Also dress in layers because weather can be a bitch. Bring a hat and sweatshirt (or two) no matter what the forecast.

·       Get their Early - Pre-gaming is like fishing; you show your ass up early to get a prime spot.  After all, this is a party so what is an extra hour pre-gaming? It's a rookie move to set-up next to an entrance or exit because people will walk right through your sweet set-up. Instead get as close as possible to the stadium then off to the side a bit so you can easily stumble in and out. Plus if you are smoking or doing some slow grilling you want to get set-up and cooking early. A word of warning, be careful setting up in other people's territory...some people have been doing this for years and you don't want to be taking a "spot" some dudes have used for a decade.

·       Set-up First - The guys who open their first beer before setting up are just morons. Get your spot laid out, set-up the chairs, tune the radio into the local game station, start the grill (if needed) and get the food and drinks arranged in the coolers. After that work is done (which takes 15 minutes you lazy bastard), crack open a cool one knowing that you fucking deserve it.

·       Raise the Flag - A parking lot with lots of pre-gaming can be a zoo. To make sure people can find you after wandering off to the bathroom make sure to raise a flag or marker at your campsite so everyone knows where you are. You can float some balloons in team colors off a string petty easy if you don't have a pole.

·       Bring Games - There are all sorts of things you can do as drinking or non-drinking games like cards, dice, beer-pong, bean bag toss. Challenge other tailgaters for parking lot bragging rights.

·       Know the Rules - Most stadiums have tailgating rules. Know them and follow them and all is good. Ignore them and possibly enjoy a fine or ride to the station.

·       Clean Up - Before you go into the game clean up your spot. Thank god you brought extra trash bags! Throw your stuff away, completely shut the grill down (you can wrap coals or ash in heavy duty foil then dip then in the water from the cooler) and then stumble into the game knowing you don't have to clean a damn thing up when you are done.

·       Post-Game - What's better than a pre-game party? A post-game party! Why sit your ass in traffic when you have food, drinks and chairs? It is also a great way to sober up before driving.

There you have it; the ultimate Bro Guide to Tailgating.