BROGUIDE
Get the Man-Info you need Every Week in the Bro Guide!

Bro Guide to Real Sex and Porn Sites

Show of hands...who here loves sex and porn sites? One...two...three...okay...basically everyone. Nothing wrong with that...porn is a very useful way to help provide some "inspiration" for those times you need to take the sausage hostage.

But, it is very important to recognize that sex with real live people is nothing like porn. Far too many young bros are watching a lot of porn growing up and making some bad assumptions that sex is actually like that. What that can lead to is a girl letting you adventure to the forbidden temple once, but denying you a second trip because she didn't enjoy the first ride.

Luckily the seasoned veterans here at Manwall are helpful enough to set you straight with our basic guide of why real sex isn't like porn.

·       Porn is about fantasy - Role playing, domination, older vs. younger and all sorts of Freudian bullshit is going on here. The rule of thumb is to be careful about what you ask your partner to do for your fantasy because she might decide you are a bit twisted upstairs. Or at least wait until the third or fourth date.

·       What foreplay? - By now everyone knows the guy-on-girl formula for porn. Girl meets guy, starts rubbing his junk, they kiss maybe twice, she goes straight down on him, he might slip her a digit and then he just shoves it in and goes to pound town before finishing on her face. To start with, if she is not warmed up, shoving it in with no lubrication can be a bit painful and rough for both of you unless she is constantly ridden like a hobby horse for hours on end and has a porn-sized vagina. Seriously, have you seen what some of those girls can shove up there? Foreplay is like warming up a car engine in cold weather...you always do it.

·       Ripping clothes off for real - A few things here about people tearing clothes off; if you have a wardrobe department then it is fine, if you both pay for your own clothes then it is occasionally cool; it is also a lot harder than it looks Even Hulk Hogan used to pre-tear his t-shirts before he ripped them off in the ring. If you tear off a lot of her clothes expect that you will also be footing a bill for her next shopping trip.

·       Careful with those positions - A lot of scenes in porn are to benefit the camera man and get the right angle so viewers can enjoy the show. Be very careful trying to recreate that inverted cowgirl with a half twist. Not only do you need to avoid a penis sprain (yeah...it can happen) but some of those things just don't feel good for her. A quick rule of thumb is that if she doesn't like it, you won't be doing it again. Classic positions are often the best for her and you; for her because of the enjoyment and for you because you can keep going to town without your muscles giving out. Seriously...how long can you hold your girl in the cradle position against the wall?

·       Odd locations are painful - A bed is nice and soft, so is a big chair or good couch...the kitchen counter...not so much. Passion is great along with wild abandon and bending your lady over the dining room table for some bump and grind is fine but go easy on the idea getting a BJ while she is upside down on a stripper pole or hitting missionary in the driveway.

·       Girls hardly ever sound like that - Having been with quite a few women, I can count on one hand the number of girls that actually sounded like a porn star. You just don't get a lot of dirty talk, girls screaming for you to "Pound me in the ass baby!" or those long, drawn out vocal orgasms people hear a block away.

·       Girls don't love anal - Seriously...how much do you want a dick shoved up your ass? Some girls like anal, some love it, but for most it is uncomfortable and if she isn't clean do you really want to get crap all over your junk? So stop trying to slyly slip a finger in her ass to see if she likes it...just ask.

·       Finishing on the face - I have never met a girl who wants to have a guy jizz all over her face, get spunk in her eyes, and make her hair all sticky. Stomach...sure...ass cheeks...yup...sweater puppies and neck...you bet...but never right in the face. This is just some weird domination fetish that plays out in porn all the time. Remember...if she doesn't enjoy herself then she won't be as likely to want to do it again with you bro.

 

With all that being said, if you happen to find a freaky ass chick who loves doing all sorts of crazy stuff like a porn-star, make sure you enjoy the hell out of that ride my friend and possibly film some of it for later.