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Tiger Woods Ends with a Meow in Dubai

 

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Who would think one little night could completely derail what was a rather epic career. That infamous night when Elin grabbed one of his golf clubs and chased him out of the house before taking a 3 shot lead into the back of his Cadillac. In one fell swoop she stole the mojo of what was the most dominant golfer of any era. Now Tiger Woods is losing to a guy named Robert Rock who used to work in the Pro Shop (kudos to Rock - we love his name).

You know what the funniest thing about all of this is? Tiger Woods was absolutely destroying golf records or opponents AND partying all night with mistresses. How good do you have to be to drink and have sex all night then wake up and hit 6 under par while looking so cold and calculating? Guys like John Daly tried it and failed miserably and yet Tiger was bringing $70 million in endorsements to go with his Masters wins each year.

But now it is all down the toilet. The guy is barely making ends meet with $30 to $40 million per year in endorsements. His golf game scares nobody as that level of consistency is gone. Tiger suffered through 'sex addict' counseling to still have his hot model wife dump him and take the money and run. Last but not least, he is now sporting a wicked widow's peak and looking old.

No longer is Tiger on top of the game. You hear him dropping f-bombs on the course, his eyes look tired and haunted, and even though he looks fit there is some extra weight in his face. A few of us at Manwall thought long and hard about what Tiger should do (while drinking beers and playing PGA Tour 12). The answer became very obvious.

Tiger needs to get back to his roots.

No we don't mean his old swing coach and caddie. Those bridges are burned. Tiger Woods needs to get a few strippers, maybe some E, and cut it loose. The problem is that he created a nice structured routine when he was winning and now the poor guy has strayed from the path. Obviously partying hard and banging chicks kept him in shape and helped with his laser-like focus. Now he is probably thinking about girls or when he can have a cocktail instead of if the green breaks hard or soft.

So Tiger, it is time to shake it up. You spent the time with a swing coach but now you need a life coach. If Charlie Sheen is on the wagon, A-Rod is busy with his girlfriend, and Jesse James can't come out to play, call us here at Manwall. We will hit the strip clubs with you as long as it takes to get you back on top! We need to see that classic fist-pump more often, and all it should take are a few shots and lap dances!