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The Olympics Continue to Surprise Us

Really these Summer Olympics have truly been amazing. It is just one incredible moment after another almost as if someone had taken the time to script things out. No, I am not talking about the amazing story of Michael Phelps or some gymnast I never heard of winning gold.

...I mean all these crazy 'reality TV worthy' moments that are being captured every day.

Let's review shall we? It all started when we had the Mayor of London get stuck on a zipline. From there everything else just took off. Off the top of my head we have had a cheating scandal in badminton of all things, that other swimmer getting a lap dance post race in a bar and interviewing like Cheech and Chong, numerous boob shots in women's water polo (thank you very much because now it is must see!) as they yank each other's suits down, some dude almost crushing his own neck with a barbell, track stars bitching about a life of being pretty, track stars bitching about not being pretty, cheerleaders during events (nice!), England actually winning a bunch of medals, two nut-shots in basketball games and not a single fight breaking out, and some Judo dude getting disqualified for eating pot brownies.

Yeah...that is a whole lot of stuff going on so really I had thought that all that could happen at these games had. Not so fast. Now I get to read about Alex Schwazer, the defending gold-medal champion race walker being disqualified for blood doping. Are you kidding me? What the hell??!

Since when is walking considered an Olympic event?

Let's be perfectly clear, there are some pretty pathetic Olympic events that need to go. Badminton is pretty damn iffy and the cheating is the only thing to make that entire category remotely interesting. Instead of just badminton it should become more of combination event like a heptathlon and include lawn darts, lawn bowling, croquet, and horseshoes. Ping pong is another one of those events I can't believe is still there. If not for my love of Forest Gump and his imaginary win of the gold I would be totally against this event.

But back to my original gripe, competitive walking. It's walking! Everyone does it! How the hell does that qualify to be a special event? Even worse why the hell do you need to use EPO's to win? That is so sad and pathetic. Then the guy has some tearful breakdown about how sorry he is and such. Apparently this type of scandal is becoming very common in competitive race-walking.

Ugh even typing that last sentence makes me cringe. I would totally get it if this was a Special Olympics event or Senior Olympics event, but to say people actually train and compete in walking is just about the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Whoopee they have to fast walk 12 miles against a group of 50 other walkers. Sounds like a Sunday morning around Central Park.

Maybe this last bit was it. Perhaps that was the last crazy ass thing to come out of the Olympics. I doubt it but I am hopeful so we can get back to the important things in life, like focusing on what Kim Kardashian is doing this week.