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Rebound: The Man's Version

A recent article on Yahoo and Match.com by Margot Lester sparked a quick debate between me and my personal therapist, Floyd my bartender. The article is about how to deal with break-ups and is sort of a 101 Guide to rebounds. While it makes reference to men in the article, it is so obviously geared toward women. So here is my response to this piece from a man's view (with help from Floyd and his years of experience).

In the article Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D. who is the author if Attitudes, Beliefs and Choices, says that you shouldn't live your life in the pit of misery or in the tower of bitterness.

Floyd interjects - Do they give guided tours of the pit of misery? It sounds like something you would find in the Tower of London. Oye women and their dramatic names....

She then provides steps for a recovery. Her are her thoughts along with Floyd's interpretation for the males.

1) Honor your feelings; don't deny them.

Floyd - I totally agree. Grab your boys and head down to the bar. Buy a pitcher and open up about how you feel for a while. Since you bought the beer they will gladly listen and provide support.

2) Take stock of what happened and examine your beliefs and your own behavior.

Floyd - Okay so the beer is done and now you are starting to sound like a whiny bitch. More than likely at least one of your boys will recognize the fact you need to get shit-faced and order up some shots. After the first round goes down you will probably starts to tell stories of 'where it all went wrong'.

3) Own what actually happened. Take responsibility for your life.

Floyd - By now the shots have been flowing and you are fully hammered. This is the point where you cry and finally admit what an ass you were and how she was a bitch sometimes. Obviously there is fault on both sides of the relationship because nobody who walks this Earth is perfect. More than likely you will start to make drunken promises to yourself and your friends about how you will do better and be a better man.

Anna Jane Grossman, author of It's Not Me, It's You also recommends getting back into the dating game as soon as you can.

Floyd - I totally agree with that Anna chick. After you are blind ass drunk and done crying your friends should be looking to get your sorry ass laid. Pretty much this is the standard 4-Step Guy code for dealing with a break-up. Honestly I am surprised that these women were fairly close with their assessments of how it should be done.

I would like to thank Floyd for his time and help on this matter as well as pouring one hell of a martini. After looking over the various points from the article it does seem that women like to draw things out a bit more than men (shocker) with a little more drama versus we apply the band-aid approach of just ripping it off and dealing with the pain.