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Picking Up Chicks at Da Club

We have been getting tons of emails asking for help about picking up women. So of course Manwall contacted the biggest playa in the office to give up his tried and true tactics on how to pick up hot ladies. Normally I don't want to be sharing all of this hard earned info with the general public because then I got more competition when I am out trying to pick up a hottie, but sometimes ya gotta help a Bro, right?

This week let's talk about how to score hot ladies at the club. So many guys bitch and moan about how they go home alone each night and have to jerk it to YouPorn while I am getting my package buffed and shined by a sweet hottie. Well no more! Pay attention and let's get you going horizontal and vertical with a chick this weekend.

What to Wear

Chicks need to see you at the club so dress that shit up! You want to be the big cock in the henhouse. Remember, you are a giant bowl of man-candy and the ladies are all going to want to try a bite so make sure you are showing what you got. Show off those muscles, chicks want to see your shirt open to your navel. Also remember that bright colors attract girls like a moth to the flame and flaunt that gold!

Some guys don't want to whip out the bling for the club but the hot ladies gotta know you are a baller with mad cash. Plus they can find you more easily with the lights reflecting off your gold and jewels so go all out.

What to Drink

Beer is for drinking at a pub while watching sports; real men are doing shots or crazy ass mixed drinks with two straws so you can offer a sip to the ladies. Yeah, if you are drinking out of it then they know you didn't pop a roofie in it so it's all good. Make sure to push your way up to the bar between a few hot women. Totally interrupt to chicks if you have to because it is time to get your drink on.

But then play it like a boss and look around to the girls on either side of you and say loudly, "I'm getting drunk tonight; any of you lovely ladies want to join me? I'm buying!" It is easier to pick out the slutty girls and gold diggers based on who answers fastest. Yeah, those are the girls you are banging that night. Of course buy their drinks first and then lead them back to your VIP table like the pimp you are.

On the Dance Floor

It's a club so you gotta groove it at some point. Remember dancing is the chance for all the ladies to see how you can shake your hips. It's like a preview of what they can expect in a few hours. You can either take the ladies from your boss VIP table to the floor or just roll out by yourself. Remember the club is your playground.

 When you hit the dance floor play it chill. Stand off to the side for awhile and wait for the women to come to you. Sure, it looks like they are ignoring you while they are dancing with their friends, but they are really slyly checking you out. Every once in a while make sure to the give the ladies a thrill by slowly working your way across the floor and randomly grinding on the hot ladies - they love that shit. Even when they give you a disgusted look, it is because they don't want to seem easy in front of their friends.

 
The Hook Up

There is no clock on hooking up. If you get a fly chick early in the night then take her to the bathroom, out in the alley, or back to your car to bang. If she looks freaky enough then head back to her place pronto! Never, ever, ever take her back to your place.  Plus if you bang one early enough in the night you just head back to the club for seconds later. What the hell, you already paid the cover charge right?

Now if the night is dragging on and you aren't finding enough willing 8's, 9's, or 10's then it is time to drop the bar. After midnight a nice 7 or flexible 6 is cool. Once 1 o'clock hits you are hitting pure trolling territory and you might just have to drop down to a 5. Now this never happens to me, but I'm just saying if you want to get laid then you gotta go for it. But word of advice, try and bang the quiet chick who is a 5 or 6. More than likely she will be the freaky one that will rock you all night long.

Summary

So that's how you get down in the club. This blueprint has worked hundreds of times so don't be afraid to give it a whirl. Remember women are attracted to douche bags all the time and end up going home with the wrong guy all the time. So mix up your game and be a dick and then give her some dick. If it doesn't then don't blame me...this was meant to be a joke but it is always really surprising what works with hot ladies sometimes.