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It's All About the Eye Contact

Making good eye contact is important, especially if you are a man. It is a social skill and one that too few have learned. The older generations had this ability mastered. It went along with a firm handshake and other manly aspects of their generation. But like many things from earlier years, after a while they just don't get passed on properly.

So why should you work on eye contact?

Because it is all about perceptions baby! People will assume things about you based on your mannerisms. For those who give consistently high levels of eye-contact it is assumed that they are confident, honest, likeable, personable, and powerful. Now if you want to be known for certain qualities or want people to assume you are a certain way then that is a great list of things to have said (or assumed) about you.

Really, all of that from just making good eye contact?

Yes! Good eye contact creates a better connection and a higher quality of interaction. It makes the conversation seem more intimate which in turns creates a more positive feeling from the interaction as well as a connection. For all those reasons you should be constantly working on making good eye contact with the people you are with.

The nice thing is that it is fairly easy to do.

Generally speaking people love attention. Eye contact gives that to them. It lets them know you are paying attention and focused on them and their little world. This is a time to shelf the insecurity and project the confidence.

·       Step 1 - Look or gaze at someone, don't stare. Typically the difference between good eye contact and bad is the frame of mind. Your eyes express emotion so think of something happy and let your eyes convey that smile.

·       Step 2 - Lean back a little when you are with someone new or that you are not very close with. This makes it a little less intimate but also helps with the comfort level.

·       Step 3 - Lean in closer if a situation requires more intimacy in the gaze.

·       Step 4 - Just focus on one eye or the other and occasionally alternate. If you try to look at both you will cross your wires and look like an idiot.

·       Step 5 - Forget about everything except the person in front of you. Roving eyes is rude and defeats the purpose of what you are trying to accomplish. But every 5 to 10 seconds break contact to look at the wall or something else to the side before refocusing on them. This helps prevent things from getting creepy.

·       Step 6 - Practice with friends and family first.

These are the basics to work on. From there you can branch out to practicing ways to use your gaze more effectively for specific situations. One must learn to walk before he can run.