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Dwight Howard Traded to the Lakers - The Eagle Has Landed!

Was I dreaming this morning when I opened up SI.com and saw the news story about a Dwight Howard trade actually happening? Glancing over at my king-sized race car bed lying empty did made me think that I was actually awake. Plus, usually on Friday I save my dreams for things like twins and porn stars, not Basketball Jones.

Okay so what can we make of this big Dwight Howard trade? Should we go straight into the analysis of why this works for each team and how it will change the balance of power to slant even more towards the west? Maybe this should be an interesting piece relating how Los Angeles always gets the big stars because athletes go all Hollywood?

Nah, let's just make fun of people for being idiots instead.

#1 Idiot - Dwight Howard. Dude, you are the biggest spoiled brat in sports right now. You want to be a 'global icon' but you act like a little baby throwing a tantrum until you got want you want. Sadly it took you this long to get to La La Land which is where you belong. New Jersey? Really? No, Dwight Howard belongs in Los Angeles because if you win big they forgot about all your poor life choices (see Kobe Bryant in Colorado, Ron Artest with that brawl-thing, and Lamar Odom marrying a Kardashian).

#2 Idiot - The Orlando Magic - Wow you give up arguably one of the Top 5 players in the NBA right now who is in his prime and the best center in the game to get...what the hell did you get? (just to be clear my top 5 is LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, and Derrick Rose) What they got was 3 draft picks and a bunch of bench warmers. Well Al Harrington can start and so can Nikola Vucevic but you can kiss the playoffs goodbye for quite a few years in Orlando. The only benefit they had was unloading Jason Richardson's giant contract and not having anymore Dwightmares, until the Lakers come to town.

#3 Idiot - The 76ers - I liked what they built last year. Doug Collins is a good coach and they were a hard working team. But Andre Iguodala was too good of a player to give up for a one year rental. Coming from Los Angeles, Andrew Bynum is going to be a headache for Collins to deal with. His attitude does not mesh with Philly.

Aside from the idiots I have to imagine that Kobe Bryant and the Denver Nuggets are both very happy right now. The Nuggets had way too many centers and power forwards on their roster and now cleared space from both slots as well as giving up a draft choice they didn't really need as their roster is full of young talent. In exchange they get a selfless, hard working player that is known for doing whatever a coach wants; he will love the George Karl system. Of course now Kobe gets to keep Gasol and has two shiny new toys in Steve Nash and Dwight Howard. So he has a guy to rebound his misses, a deadly shooter to spread the floor, and really should have an easy time getting back to the Western Conference Finals.

Man being a Laker is a sweet gig!