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Dealing with Stupid Names

I met a girl the other night and she gave me her number. It was a sweet pull and honestly at first I was very happy. But then something happened after I put her number in my phone and she walked off.

I realized I couldn't go out with her.

Her name was Kaylee...or Kailee..maybe Kaylea? Hell it could have been Kayelee, Kaiyle, or Kailyea as well. That was the problem! She told me her name but I had no freaking idea how to spell it. I am so sick of this issue. Why can't people just stick with normal freaking names?

I think the problem occurs in girls around the age of 10 or 11. It is at this point that they start to want to be unique and one-of-a-kind. Growing up they were told how they were a 'Princess' and special. But now as their social circle expands suddenly they aren't so unique. So instead of 2 or 3 Kelly's now we have a Kellie, Kelley, and Kellee. Really?

But the problem has started to spread. I recently met a set of twins. He introduced himself in a very douchey voice that said, "Hi, my name is Craig...with a K."

What? Where the F*&! does the "K" go in Craig? Who is named Kraig? Oh, this dipwad is.

He explained that his family always chose "K" names for all the kids. Then he introduced his brother, Chris...with a K. At least with Kris you have a few other notable Kris's already such as Kris Kristofferson or Kris Kross or Kris Kringle. I will guess the mom chose the names. I'm sure the dad would have gone with a nice simple Kevin or Kane. Maybe go out on a limb with Kaleb, but that name is a bit uncommon as it is. Of course Keanu or Keith could have worked as well as Ken, Kendall, Kent, or even Kirby. But no. She went with Craig and Chris...with a K.

Nice to meet you...douche bag. Sorry but there is no way not to sound like an arrogant prick when you introduce yourself and then immediately give instructions on how to spell your name.

What, Kraig with a K, did you assume I was going to drop everything and write your amazing name down?

Why should we have to struggle with your dumb names? How unfair is it that the rest of us have standard spelling such as Tom instead of Thomb or Todd instead of Todddd. Not that I am big on conforming but for Peatee's sake at least make it easy for us to get a name. If you want to jazz it up then change up the middle name. That never messes with anyone because we can just use the initial.

"Hi, my name is Jenny SparkleEyes Thurmond." Oh, hi Jenny S.

See how much easier that is than Jhennie with an "h-ie".