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Binge Drinking: What Makes College Students Happier!

“Students who report binge drinking also report being happier than their non-binge drinking peers.” Finally something college students can enjoy reading in the news. A recent study showed that college students who binge drink are happier and get a lot more social satisfaction therefore having an overall better college experience. It’s about time we saw the truth come out in the news!

If you’re a bro and you love to drink then college is the perfect opportunity to do so. That’s why frats were invented in the first place. After the binge drinking survey was conducted to college students, several articles actually targeted fraternities for being one of the leading factors of why students drink so much in college. “Binge drinking may also be a prerequisite for receiving the full benefits of high status group membership.” Like whoever wrote that couldn’t just say fraternity?

The best part about this recent study is that it was given to undergrads from a Northeastern liberal arts college - when they agreed to take the survey on binge drinking they were given free pizza. Let’s get this straight, not only were they invited to answer questions about partying but they also got free pizza when they agreed to it? WTF! I should have gone to this school.

Even though college is in my past nothing has made this week better then seeing that first quote appear in the news. You think all of those non-binge drinking peers are going to like getting called out publically? You bet your ass they don’t, so expect a lot more of those “non-binge drinking” students to be getting wasted around campus this year. Should be a fun fall semester!

The funny thing is how shocked everyone is with the results from the survey especially because whoever took it answered honestly. It’s college, so they’re obviously going to take advantage of drinking a lot of alcohol, getting wasted and having a good time, which is nothing new and has been happening for decades. You can’t expect college students to sit around and study 24/7, that’s not why a majority of them enrolled into college in the first place. So my only advice to the health experts who are so concerned with this survey’s results is to stop bitching because either way college students aren’t going to stop drinking. If you’re a college student and you haven’t cracked a beer yet – shut off your computer and do so ASAP.

Look what happens when people try to take alcohol away from college students, it's just not right …