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Bacon Scented Deodorant

Are you ready to smell meaty fresh? It is now official; the bacon craze has finally gone too far with bacon deodorant.

Like all real men, I love bacon. The smell of bacon cooking in the morning, in the afternoon, over a fire, on a grill...it's primal and sexy. However it seems that a few companies are trying to take this beloved smell and simply churn out ridiculous products to throw haphazardly at men hoping we are going to buy them.

Bacon scented deodorant joins the ranks of bacon shaving cream, bacon lube, bacon condoms (no we are not making any of this up), bacon band-aids, bacon toothpaste, bacon floss, bacon candles (who uses candles?), bacon Mentos, bacon soda, and bacon soap.

ENOUGH!

Do you know where I want my bacon scent? On my god damn bacon which is on my plate before I eat it. I want bacon on my sandwich, bacon on my burger, bacon with my eggs, bacon with my waffles and the occasional tastefully done bacon bra on my girl.

Will I take bacon sprinkles on a salad?

Hah, trick question! Who eats a salad? But I will take bacon on a cupcake and even try some baconnaise now and again. Bacon is meant to be cooked and eaten.

Moderation is the Key

What is the fastest way to wear out something? Overuse! The lone exception to this rule is looking at ridiculously hot women because I can do that all day and my eyes never seem to complain.

Much like the way Gangnam Style rocked our world for a month before it became so overwhelmingly obnoxious that we never want to see that weird Korea dude air-ride a pony, overusing the bacon idea is going to ruin bacon.

Will I eat bacon every day? Hell yes I will! But do I want to smell weird mock-bacon scents all day long? Hell no!

There comes a time when men must unite under a common banner for a common cause. While we might argue the concept of the designated hitter or how pre-season football has seemed to cause increased injuries to star players for fantasy football, in this we must come together and say enough pandering to our love of bacon.

With Christmas on the horizon make sure to ask your family not to give you gimmick bacon gifts this year and buy into the faux bacon craze. Skip the Diet Coke with Bacon or Bacon Gumballs in the stocking. Instead just ask for the real thing; slabs of delicious, thick, juicy bacon.

We need to stop the madness before it gets anymore out of hand and someone makes bacon flavored candy canes. Oh wait...they already have.